I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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