My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
