i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize