I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize