I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
