just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
