just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
