and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
where are you?
Hypothermia
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
