i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
