My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
