So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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