Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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