she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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