i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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