i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i believe in u and ur pee
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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