allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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