You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Your cock deserves a montage
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
