Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
