Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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