11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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