He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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