I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
