There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
