he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
