I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
