i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
