If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
