I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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