Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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