Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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