..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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