Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize