So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
