well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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