Me too!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
