We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize