we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
