its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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