I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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