i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
