is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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