You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
