I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I touched a dick in church today
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
