All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
