so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
