I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
