I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
