He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
