so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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