I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
