I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
