how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This can only be settled by a dance off.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
