all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
