dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she looked like the before picture.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
