Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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