it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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