I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
