so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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