Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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