if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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